


Fragments

by Poison_writes



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Dementia, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Nagito has Dementia, No Beta We Die Like Uhh Well Like Nagito, Not Medically Accurate, Slice of Life, Terminal Illnesses, hajime takes care of him, there is nothing more to it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_writes/pseuds/Poison_writes
Summary: Nagito is slowly disappearing. Hajime can't do anything but just be there.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 4
Kudos: 90





	Fragments

Some days were good, some days were bad. Hajime couldn’t tell which were the majority. And he didn’t eve try. The result would make him sad, he though. 

On the bad days Nagito was just a shadow of a person he used to be. Maybe just a shadow of a person in general. Hajime found himself thinking of him as an empty shell, but that couldn’t have been true. There were still times when Nagito laughed and talked to him like before. There were still days when he could remember both of their pasts, when he could look Hajime in the eyes and clearly recognize both of them. On the bad days though he seemed lost. Confused. He wouldn’t eat, or rather forget he has to do that. Basic hygiene was hard for him. Usually he was able to do everything after Hajime reminded him. Sometimes though he seemed to forget even how brushing his teeth worked. That burdened Hajime the most. He didn’t mind taking care of Nagito in that way, or at least that was what he told himself. It hurt him that the person that he cared about so deeply was so far gone he wasn’t even able to take the least care of himself. He was a shell of a person, his body still working in ways human body usually does, but his mind was so far gone. He was empty. Hajime hated that idea. 

The good days would become less and less frequent. Hajime knew that. Nagito was sick and there was nothing he could do about it. One day, he would just slip from under his fingers and he would only be left with a body that resembles his boyfriend but with nothing actually left of him. That knowledge was painful and terrifying to him. Of course, he would still take care of him, but what was the point? Hajime will be there until the very end, babying him around, but it won’t mean anything to Nagito. No matter what Hajime will still be there, he will still love him. Nagito just won’t know.

This was one of the bad days. Hajime usually knew when they were coming. Nagito slowly started disappearing over course of few days, he seemed confused constantly, sometimes forget himself in the middle of a sentence or a task, until he was gone completely. Hajime wondered what place he disappeared to. What depths of his mind he went to. Whatever it was like for him, Hajime could only hope he felt at least a bit safe there. When asked about it after going back to normal once again, Nagito usually claimed he had no memory of what happened in past days. Sometimes he said it was like trying to remember strange dream, that one still has vague shape of in their mind, but can’t quite grasp it. 

Hajime has been awake for few hours now. He already filled out reports for future foundation and went to get breakfast. He made one for Nagito too, but he was still asleep. He slept a lot more during his bad periods. Like he couldn’t really do anything else. It was time to wake him up though. He needed routine. 

Hajime sat at the edge of their bed, gently running his hand through the other’s hair. He wondered how it got tangled so easily. Maybe he could brush it for him today. ‘Hey, it’s time to get up,’ he said when Nagito’s eyes opened.

The man laying on bed stared at him, his eyes going in and out of focus, looking not quite at Hajime, but not through him either.

‘Let’s get dressed okay?’

Nagito still said nothing. Just stared at him. His expression wasn’t confused or scared. It didn’t resemble any emotion Hajime knew. Wait, no, that wasn’t quite correct. It resembled something he used to see on his own face once. Lack of anything. Lack of emotions.

‘Do you want me to help you?’ He wouldn’t get an answer for a long time, before Nagito nodded slowly. 

‘Mkay,’ Hajime smiled. He prayed that he didn’t appear bothered at that time. Even if there was the slightest chance Nagito could remember burdening him, he wanted to avoid it. None of this was his fault. He shouldn’t feel guilty for it. ‘Sit up, please.’ He did as he was told and Hajime helped him change out of his pyjamas. When he was done he put his hand on Nagito’s cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. In normal state Nagito would lean into the touch. Like the Hajime’s only reward was a blank stare. He retreated his hand, almost in shame.

‘Do you need to use the bathroom?’ Nagito yet again said nothing, just looked at him. Ah, Hajime would have to help him.

Half an hour later Nagito was sitting on small stool in the bathroom. Morning routine took them longer than usual, Nagito wasn’t being exactly cooperative. 

‘Do you want me to brush your hair?’ Hajime asked, not quite expecting an answer.

The other man giggled and nodded. ‘Okay.’

Huh? His mood suddenly changed. That wasn’t too unusual though. He used words too for the first time that day. That was good, sometimes he wouldn’t speak a word during states like this.

He tried to be gentle but it must have hurt Nagito quite a bit. But even if it did he didn’t give any sign of being in pain. His hair was fragile and fell out easily, Hajime had to be careful when running brush through them so he wouldn’t leave the poor boy with only half of it by the time he was done. When he was done he was left with a big ball of white hair in his hands. 

‘Maybe if we put them in ponytail they won’t get so tangled again, hm?’

No response. Hajime did as he said he would.

‘It really suits you, look,’ Hajime leaned over the other’s shoulders and pointed at the mirror.

Nagito stared at his reflection for a long time. Did he not recognize himself? Finally he muttered something that Hajime though was ‘pretty’. He wasn’t sure which one of them Nagito meant. 

He led the other boy into the kitchen, sitting him down in front of his breakfast. ‘You should eat up,’ he said, sitting himself across table and continuing some of the paperwork Future Foundation for some reason required so much.

Nagito didn’t eat. Instead he kept looking down on his meal before looking up at Hajime and then switching again. It will take me some time, but he will figure out, Hajime though.

‘Kamukura?’

Oh.

Oh no.

‘You are Izuru Kamukura, right?’

‘No, I’m not, I’m sorry.’ Sometimes that happened. A piece of his memory would come up, but not completely. Sometimes he asked where his parents were, or started acting like they were in the simulation again. It was quite unpredictable how he would act in times like this. Once Hajime though it would be easier for him to pretend he was still Izuru, but claiming that sent Nagito into blind panic. He wasn’t sure why, Izuru didn’t quite give him access to all his memories. 

‘Oh,’ Nagito sounded almost disappointed. ‘You look like him.’

‘People say that, yes.’

Nagito hummed in what sounded like approval, but Hajime was sure he was spacing out again.‘I don’t really know where I am, Kamukura.’ Nagito began to sound a little more desperate.

‘It’s okay, you are home.’

That didn’t seem to satisfy him. Hajime could see his eyes getting glassy. He was about to cry. ‘I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know-,’ his voice got more and more distorted until his attempts to repeat the sentence turned to nothing but sobs.

Hajime tried to touch his shoulder carefully, waiting for a reaction before he decided to pull him into embrace. Nagito clinged onto him, pulling onto fabric of his hoodie with a lot more force than Hajime expected. ‘You are okay, I promise, you are safe,’ whatever soothing nonsense Hajime was saying had little to no effect. It seemed Nagito had hard time processing what was happening.

It took almost fifteen minutes for him to fully calm down. Mostly, he just got tired. Hajime managed to feed him some of his breakfast before helping him back to bed. He seemed tired.

…

Kazuichi talked extremely fast when explaining something about engines. That’s why Hajime had given up trying to understand what was the exact problem with one of the cargo ships. ‘You are just going to show me, okay?’ He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

The pink haired boy nodded a way more excitedly than someone talking about a broken ship should. ‘So are you coming with me?’

‘I just gotta finish lunch and take care of Nagito. I’ll be there in like two hours or something, is that okay?’

Besides being the ultimate mechanic Kazuichi had a different super high school level talent too. That was being completely oblivious towards other people’s needs sometimes. ‘Can’t he just do it himself for once?’ He instantly regretted saying something like that. He could see Hajime’s eyes glistened red. It was a look you’d get to see only moments before catastrophe. 

‘You know I would be much happier if he could.’

Kazuichi just shook his head. Hajime was angry with him for not understanding. He knew he shouldn’t be, it was hard for anyone who spend most of time with Nagito in his more pleasant moments to understand. Because really, there were times where he seemed completely okay and it was hard to believe that he could turn into this walking corpse.

‘So like what is up with him?’ Kazuichi tried to ease the tension there, but he was always very bad at reading the room. He leaned forward and peeked inside their cottage. Nagito was sitting on the edge of their bed, looking down at his hands. ‘He just sits like that? Creepy.’

‘He is sick, Souda,’ Hajime frowned and pushed the other back outside. Of course, he would never get it. Hajime was starting to get fed up with that. ‘Just go, okay? I’ll try to finish everything quickly and be there as soon as possible.’

‘Geez, what’s up your ass today?’

Kazuichi didn’t get an answer for that, instead the door in front of him slammed shut.

…

Hajime set the bowl of soup on their nightstand and turned the radio off. He wasn’t quite sure if Nagito liked listening to classical music, but it seemed better to him then to just leave him staring into a wall. Nagito didn’t look at him, sitting on the bed he faced away as if he didn’t notice the other sitting next to him.

‘I brought you lunch,’ Hajime said and tried to smile, ‘You should eat it.’

Nagito didn’t react, so Hajime placed his hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. ‘Hey, sunshine, you there?’

Nagito mumbled something.

‘Hm? What was that?’

‘I hate you,’ Nagito repeated at audible volume now. He turned to face Hajime. ‘I hate you,’ he said again, anger building up in his features.  
‘Nagito-,’ Hajime tried to ease him, but it was no good.

‘I hate you!’ he was yelling at this point. His hand rose and tried to hit the other, but Hajime caught it mid-air. Second attempt was with Nagito’s mechanic arm, that was a bit more dangerous, but Hajime was still stronger than that. Sometimes if he wasn’t cautious enough Nagito actually hurt him in state like this. That hasn’t happened for a long time though, Hajime learned how to be careful.

Nagito was now stuck with Hajime firmly holding both of his hands by his wrists. ‘I hate you!’ he barked into his face, desperation seeping into his voice. ‘I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!’

‘I know,’ Hajime said quietly, ‘I know.’ He could already feel the other one getting exhausted. Eventually he would stop yelling and his tense muscles relaxed. Hajime let go of the other wrists and Nagito’s head fell against his shoulder. He was still mumbling something that Hajime couldn’t quite understand.

‘Aren’t you tired?’ he suggested and Nagito nodded against his shoulder. He helped him lay down on the bed.

‘Are you still with me?’

‘Mh,’ Nagito nodded.

‘I’m going to go help Kaz with something, I’ll be back soon. Get some rest.’

Nagito nodded again.

There was probably no use in saying that, he most likely won’t remember this conversation when he wakes up. But that won’t happen in few hours, so Hajime better hurry up with the repairs.


End file.
